Spotlight on Dads - Jared Hoylman

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as 'second' parents.


This week's spotlight shines on Jared Hoylman from DadThing. Jared has learned a thing or two about what it means to be a good dad over the past few years, while experiencing lots of new adventures with his son Ace.

Tell a little about yourself. Most recently, I am known as Ace's Dad. Pre-parenthood, I went by Jared Hoylman. I'm a 29 year old electronic engineer and have been married to my wonderful wife Sabrina (A.K.A. Momma) for almost 6 years now (we've been together for 10 years). We somehow conjured up a magical mixture of bodily fluids and created the light of our lives, Ace, who is now 15 months old. We also have a 10 year old dog named Buddy.

What about your family background? I grew up in small town Ohio, graduated from High School (4th in my class = dork) and started classes at DeVry University two weeks later. After a year of college I met my current wife, Sabrina. She was my neighbor. Convenient, eh? We dated for about a year and then moved in together during the final year of my college education.

I graduated with a BS in Electronic Engineering Technology. Sabrina and I moved to Colorado for three years, then to New Mexico for a year, and finally back to Ohio to be closer to our families. We traveled all over the country, but the one place that made us the happiest was home.

What do you like most about being a dad? My favorite thing about being a Dad is that I now have an excuse for acting stupid! If you saw a guy racing the shopping cart up and down the aisles at Target pretending it is a race car (and making race car noises), you would think he was crazy…unless his son was sitting in the driver’s seat and had a smile a mile wide. Then it would be OK. :D

On a more serious note, my favorite thing about being a Dad is watching Ace learn and grow…and being able to help him along the way. A child’s innocence and curiosity makes me remember what life is all about…the simple things in life and being happy!

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? Most challenging? Trying to achieve a balance between work and play. I was raised to get my work done, and then go play. I go to work all day long and when I come home there is always something that needs done…yard work, house work, fixing something, etc. At first, it was really hard for me to set all of that aside and take the time to sit on the floor and play with Ace.

I have began to realize that all of that stuff can wait. The grass will still be there tomorrow, but just be a little taller. It won’t hurt anything if I wait one more day to change the oil in my truck, ya know? But I only get one today with Ace and Momma.

The funny thing is that once I actually get down on the floor and start pushing trucks around, or banging on his toy xylophone…all that work stuff disappears into thin air.

What's your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? My most memorable experience as a Dad is seeing Ace lying on the scale at the hospital minutes after coming in to this world and reaching up to grab my finger with his tiny little hand. We have been best buds ever since.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? In general, I think that Dad’s are perceived as the dumber half of a couple who go to work and then come home and park it on the couch in front of the TV…at least that is the way most of the TV shows and movies portray Dads in general.

I’m sure that there are many Dads that do just that, however there are many more of us that go to work full time, get involved with our children’s lives after work, help our wives with the dishes, give baths, and then read bedtime stories…but that would not get high ratings in a TV show.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? Becoming a Dad has shown me that I am not as smart as I thought I was. Every single day as a Dad represents itself with it’s own set of challenges and learning experiences. I think realizing that you do not know everything is an important part of becoming a good parent. You’ll make mistakes, be out smarted, and be totally dumbfounded about what the right thing to do might be. I strive to think things through, ask questions, and make educated decisions. If the decision I made was a bad one, then I admit it, learn from it, and move on.

"Realizing that you do not know everything is an important part of becoming a good parent."

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? I go to my wife. We are one hell of a team! If we can’t figure out what to do, then we just wing it and await the outcome. We have found that being good parents requires a little bit of common sense and a whole lot of patience.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? I do not hang out with any other dads. Probably because I do not know any other Dad’s around my age that have young kids. I do have a friend who is expecting to be a Dad in a few months, so we will have to see where that goes.

Tell a little about your website. I do have a blog, which I call DadThing.

Becoming a Dad was a huge challenge for me because I had never been around a baby before. I knew absolutely nothing. I had never changed a diaper, made a bottle, or tried to soothe a crying baby.

DadThing started when Ace was about 6 months old. At first I wanted to create a reference type blog where I could share tips and tricks for new Dads like me, but soon found this awesome group of Mom and Dad bloggers who blogged to share their experiences as parents on a more personal level!

Now DadThing is just a story of our lives as a family. The ups, downs, and twists and turns along the way. All of the credit for DadThing’s following has to go to Ace though. Without him it would be a bunch of blabbering about this dorky guy, his awesome wife and their dog.

Next week's Spotlight on Dads will be both Annoying and Boring (NOT)! Come back and see next Saturday.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published every Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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